The “they can’t help it” trope makes me so mad - it completely discounts the work we do as humans to be better friends and partners, and creates this fatalistic attitude that we are broken, not that society is. It also gives partners of people with ADHD traits a free pass to blame a disorder instead of addressing communication or prioritization issues in their relationships. Thanks for continuing to call this out!
The stuff about removing your own agency hit- I had a relationship which for both of us was the first time we had acknowledged and adapted for our neurodivergentness specifically within a relationship, and it started out really great but eventually it didn't work. what really crystallised why was that by using our diagnoses as scaffolding for the basis of our relationship, we were not allowing ourselves full agency to change and improve and be accountable to each other properly. It's a subtle difference but a powerful one.
Omg. So helpful one of your best episodes yet. Thank you. And, as someone who’s now feeling strong enough to date again it’s ALSO been super empowering to hear. So much love to you both.
I have been trying to get back into journaling as way to process the chaos in my head, and looked at bullet journal layouts for some inspo. The second suggestion on Google that came up was 'bullet journal layouts for ADHD' and oh my....the ads that came up for 'Shop' had me equally embarrassed and outraged. I'm sure these $15 colourful worksheet will solve all of my issues!!!
I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on this kind of thing.
Loved this episode. Especially the commentary on the nuclear family creating this expectation that everyone can do everything for themselves. I’m really happy to hear some nuance surrounding nuerodivegent labels. I’ve been grappling with the pros and cons of nuerodivergent labels and do find it a useful framework when it’s categorized as just that, one framework and not a medicalized fixed category. Love that your conversation left room for this.
The “they can’t help it” trope makes me so mad - it completely discounts the work we do as humans to be better friends and partners, and creates this fatalistic attitude that we are broken, not that society is. It also gives partners of people with ADHD traits a free pass to blame a disorder instead of addressing communication or prioritization issues in their relationships. Thanks for continuing to call this out!
The stuff about removing your own agency hit- I had a relationship which for both of us was the first time we had acknowledged and adapted for our neurodivergentness specifically within a relationship, and it started out really great but eventually it didn't work. what really crystallised why was that by using our diagnoses as scaffolding for the basis of our relationship, we were not allowing ourselves full agency to change and improve and be accountable to each other properly. It's a subtle difference but a powerful one.
Omg. So helpful one of your best episodes yet. Thank you. And, as someone who’s now feeling strong enough to date again it’s ALSO been super empowering to hear. So much love to you both.
I have been trying to get back into journaling as way to process the chaos in my head, and looked at bullet journal layouts for some inspo. The second suggestion on Google that came up was 'bullet journal layouts for ADHD' and oh my....the ads that came up for 'Shop' had me equally embarrassed and outraged. I'm sure these $15 colourful worksheet will solve all of my issues!!!
I would be interested in hearing your thoughts on this kind of thing.
Loved this episode. Especially the commentary on the nuclear family creating this expectation that everyone can do everything for themselves. I’m really happy to hear some nuance surrounding nuerodivegent labels. I’ve been grappling with the pros and cons of nuerodivergent labels and do find it a useful framework when it’s categorized as just that, one framework and not a medicalized fixed category. Love that your conversation left room for this.